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March.

Hey friend, hey! How are you? Lately I've been rocking this life. Everything is finally coming together.

The Hubs and I paid off some debt, paying off more, savings is stable, we've started to invest! I'm getting interviews and client requests left and right. My side hustle is gaining momentum. My mediation/prayer/manifesting/workout routine is on fire!

I'm vending in an awesome market on Saturday.

It's all coming together. It's all finally coming together.
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Hey! Have you heard anything about this virus...in China? Is it a big deal? Should we be concerned? I'm super busy.
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In addition to my clients, I'm doing grocery delivery on the side and this dude ordered 30 cans of beans, tons and tons of ramen, tuna, noodles, rice, water, pasta, chicken, beef.

Lots of toilet paper and paper towels. Why the toilet paper? Weird.
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I'm in Austin because I brought Henny to her surgery this morning. She's just been moved to a room and her aunt just got here. I just checked Facebook for the first time.

“Hey, everyone in Corpus is posting pictures of empty shelves at HEB. No toilet paper or paper towels? My sister can't find any anywhere.”

Why is everyone hoarding toilet paper? Do I need toilet paper? Does my family need toilet paper?

HENNY: “You should go get toilet paper before you head back to Corpus. You should leave now to get that before it runs out..and you want to miss traffic anyway. Go, go, get that toilet paper, girl”

I head to the nearest store, Randall's. They're almost all out of toilet paper. They have one brand. My brand. My only brand. Bad. Ass. I grab 4 packs. I want more but I feel embarrassed so I settle.

Next nearest store, the Dollar General. They only have one brand. Sandpaper. I'm still better than this at this point.

Next closest store, Walmart. They only have a tiny stock left of two different brands. My dad's brand and my sister's brand. The Universe is still on my side. I'm overjoyed. I grab some packs for my dad, for my aunt, my uncle, my other aunt and cousin, a few packs for my sister's family and a few extra for any elderly neighbors that might need some.

I text my brother in Austin, “TP's running low. Get yourself some.” I grab 3 cases of water to disperse among my entire family. I'm overjoyed. I'm not sure what is going on but I feel as if I have won a small victory.
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Italy has locked down many parts of the country.
What's happening.
This virus is what?
Pretty serious?
How many people are dying?
What's happening?
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In an instant chaos seems to have erupted.
The virus is more rampant in the US now.
Information seems limited.
Politics explode again.

I talk myself out of having martinis all day.
I miraculously stick to my workout program.

People are saying this isn't a big deal. “More people die from the flu every year.”
More people are getting sick. More people are dying.

Twitter is filled with videos from Italians warning us. Their healthcare system is on the brink of collapse.
I am addicted to Twitter.

I get a meme of a giant pee-pee from my friend in California.
I laugh. And laugh.

Is my throat sore?

What is a Tiger King?
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(March 13-15)

Food is flying off the shelves.
Nursing homes across the country are locking down.
There are now orders for everyone to stay home.
Non-essential businesses are ordered to close.

Where is all the PPE for our healthcare workers?

I am terrified.

People are working hard to save local businesses.

I am terrified.

What about the amazing couple that own the screen-printing place I use?
What about my childhood friend with her engraving company and special needs daughter?
What about the leader of our entrepreneur group? She and her husband both own small businesses.

I cry.

I send out the meme of the giant pee-pee to a few of my text threads.
I laugh. And laugh.

I have a zoom video call with friends.
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Limits on most products at HEB now.
Walmart has followed suit.
Target has early shopping hours for seniors.

Musicians are streaming live concerts from their homes.
Museums, parks and zoos are streaming virtual tours.

Do I have enough toilet paper?
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Schools are now closed until April 14. (Then later for the year.)
Teachers and parents are helping online.

Is my throat sore?
It's allergies.
Pollen is high.

Terrified.
Nervous.
Stressed.
Brave.
Hopeful.

Receive meme of giant pee-pee from text threads.
Laugh and laugh.

Who is Carol Baskin?

Do I need more toilet paper?

Stock up on vitamins and meds for me and my family.
Elderberry and Zinc.
Mucinex.
Sudafed.

News says ibuprofen.
I buy ibuprofen.
News says no ibuprofen.
I buy Tylenol.
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Is my throat sore?

Do I need more toilet paper?

Inner panic.
Can't sleep.
Spontaneous crying.
Addicted to Twitter.
Italy is falling apart.

Feel better.
Everything is okay.

Read about great news!
Read that great news is fake news.
Read about terrible news.
Read terrible news is fake news!

The numbers are decreasing.
The numbers are increasing.

Shit, we have no food.

Do we have enough toilet paper?

Is my throat sore?

Addicted to Twitter.

Friends posting on Facebook about the quick and heroic actions of the president.
Friends posting on Facebook about the delayed and fumbled actions of the president.
Fucking Dems'.
Fucking Republicans.

Type and delete angry responses to posts.

Are we all going mad?

I cry.

Participate in birthday parade for friend's daughter.

Delete Twitter.

Send out different memes of giant pee-pee.
Laugh and laugh.

Go to ATM to check on finances and move some money from credit card to checking just in case.
Pull into bank parking lot and have meltdown.

Am I overreacting?
Am I under-reacting?

Receive memes of giant pee-pee.
Laugh and laugh.

Zoom video call with friends.

Work out.
Feel better.
Feel terrified.
Feel better.

Add to planner for tomorrow: Shower? Consider wearing a bra.

April....

It's been a whirlwind friend! And as we know by now, there is no wrong way to feel. We are going through something BIG and it's okay to have BIG emotions. (As if there are any other kinds of emotions.)

I just wanted to remind you that we are all in this together. Keep great hope and have grace with others, most of all with yourselves. If you're feeling helpless find a way to be helpful! Even if it's a short text to a friend or a small donation.

Keep in mind, there is still a God.
The same God from before, the same God we trusted last month and last year and last decade.
The Universe is still on your side.
Everything is still conspiring in your favor.

All is well.
All is well.
All is well.

Decide what kind of energy you want to bring to the world in this time and how your actions and words represent that. Do you want to add more chaos or be a source for love and helpfulness?

Carry great hope, bring the light, be the change (and all that jazz)....

You can do anything.
I believe in you.
You are greatly loved.

Sincerely, Veronica Towns